The cost of being human
by Traye
Summary: After Martha Kent is in a car accident Lois Lane shows why she is Clark Kent's soul mate.


**I wrote this after the episode of Smallville where the VRA get's repealed. Martha Kent is shot in that episode and Clark isn't in time to save her. She ends up being okay but I wondered how it would have played out if she had died. I wrote this in response. It would have to take place in the future, after Smallville ends and Clark is already Superman. It's a bit of a downer but I had a lot of fun writing it. Please review and let me know what you think.**

Lois stood next to her car with the police officer and forced her eyes on the woman's face. She couldn't bring herself to look at the pavement and the mangled wreck of a car that rested on it. She blinked just long enough to hope that the scene before her would evaporate into some haze of morning fog and exhaustion. However when she opened her eyes the police car's flashing lights still filled her eyes and the stern official looking woman in uniform stared at her intently.

"I know this is a weird question and it seems intrusive but did your mother like to drink Ms. Kent?" The woman asked. The officer had been talking for a few minutes but Lois' mind was elsewhere. This was the first thing she actually heard the woman say. The other questions had been asked and answered robotically and she couldn't say for sure what they had been. Lois's eyes glanced to the woman's name plate and she made a mental note. Tremble. Officer Tremble. She'd remember that. Just what kind of question was that? Was she asking about alcohol?

"It's Lane-Kent and no my mother in law didn't like to drink, especially not while driving. She's a United States Senator for Christ sakes she follows rules." Followed rules, Lois corrected herself mentally. Past tense.

Officer Tremble didn't bother defending herself. "Ma'am I apologize but it appears alcohol was a factor in the crash and I just wanted to make sure it was solely the fault of the other driver and not your mother. Excuse me, mother in law."

Alcohol? Was that idiot drunk? Is that what this was all about drunk driving? She felt her stomach tighten as she forced herself to look at the mangled metal on the road in front of her. She could clearly make out the rear of Martha Kent's Lincoln continental. The license plates dangling from the back left no doubt in her mind that the police had the right person. Government issued plates. State of Kansas United States Senator tags.

It took her almost choking before she realized she wasn't breathing. Mrs. K was gone. Not peacefully and honorably like she deserved but grisly and violently. A victim of some inconsiderate bastard too selfish to call a taxi. He took Mrs. K away from her. The woman had been the closest thing to a mother Lois had since her own mother died years ago. She was Ma, Lois' fall back mother. She was supposed to be here. She couldn't imagine having to go through this all over again.

Lois could make out the driver's slumped head from the backseat of the police car parked a few feet away. He was fine the bastard, walked away without a scratch. She could hear him rambling on about how none of it was his fault. She felt like dragging him from the car and kicking his ass, giving him a small taste of the pain he must have put Mrs. K through in her final moments.

"Mrs. Kent is there somebody you need me to call? Your husband maybe. We'll inform him if you'd like." Tremble asked. The question brought Lois's whole world crashing down around her. Her husband. Clark. Oh my God what was she going to tell Clark?

"Oh my God, Clark doesn't know. How do I tell him this? How do I even begin to explain it?"

"Well something like this can be a very traumatic thing." Officer Tremble began.

No sooner had the woman began her rehearsed speech did Lois see the streak above her head in the early evening sky. Oh my God, no. Not now, not in the cape. She bit down hard on her bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood and began to breath long labored breaths. Superman drew everyone's attention as he landed in the middle of the street. He looked like Superman always looked, strong, authoritative and controlled but there was something about his eyes that disturbed Lois. There was pain in them. Intense pain like she'd only seen one other time. She'd seen the look in his eyes once before. The day they'd buried Clark's father. The pain in his eyes meant only one thing. He already knew about his mom. He must have heard.

Superman took a few cautious steps towards the scene before him. The police had stopped working and watched him in confused amazement. They no doubt had never seen Superman before. At least not in the flesh. They didn't notice the distressed look in his eyes like Lois did. They didn't spot the desperation and pain hiding beneath the surface. Mrs. K was still lying in the street covered up by the white sheet but that didn't matter to Superman. The cops stared at him as he stared at the human wreckage that had been his mother and Lois knew he was looking through the sheet at the lifeless shell that was once his mother. The cops were in awe and completely blind to his pain. They didn't realize there was a problem until he screamed.

Lois sprang into action. She covered the distance between her and Superman in less than a second and wrapped her arms around his steel waist. He was still screaming, a deafening roar of pain and hurt that would haunt her dreams for the rest of her life.

"Mom." He cried out questioningly, almost helpless sounding. She'd never heard him sound that way before. Pained and broken.

The words broke Lois' heart.

"Stop it. Don't look at her like that, don't remember her that way," She pleaded with him. She knew that with his super strong brain once he had the image in his mind it would never go away. He'd be stuck with it for the rest of his life. It would be torture for him. All she could think to do was apologize to him for his pain, so that's what she did. "Baby I am so sorry." Was all she could manage to say as the scream died down.

His eyes turned to Lois and she could see the pain in them. She could see the damp tears beginning to form in them. The look on his face tortured her.

"I should do something. Take her to the hospital, maybe they can help her still."

Lois bit down once again on her lip. She bravely fought back the tears on the edge of her eyes.

"No I'm sorry baby. It's too late. She's gone. We can't help her. There's nothing we can do."

"It can't be, it has be some kind of mistake. I just talked to her an hour ago. She stopped for gas. She said she was ten minutes away from the farm. This is some kind of mix-up." He said. His words were slow and questioning. His eyes locked onto Lois's waiting for some kind of acknowledgment. Tears began to well in Lois's eyes and all she could do was shake her head.

"I'm sorry honey no. It's not a mistake." She told him. Just saying the words felt like a betrayal. Having to crush his hopes that this was some kind of mistake made her feel like it was all her fault. His head sagged a bit and she fell to pieces inside.

"Let me outta here, this ain't my fault. I ain't did nothin." The drunk in the back of the squad car yelled out.

The words snapped Superman back to life and Lois saw a flash of something in his eyes that she'd seen only once or twice before. Fury and rage, murderous rage. His head snapped around at the police cruiser and it's intoxicated captive.

"He did this." Superman said. His voice was hard and accusatory. He started to take a step in that direction when Lois grabbed his forearm. She was no match for his immense strength but her tug at his arm may as well have been a vice grip, it stopped him in his tracks.

"Clark no. No. The police will deal with him there is nothing for you to do over there."

"But he killed her." Superman started to plead. His voice dropped and she could finally see that he didn't know what to do. There was no fire to put out, nobody he could save, there was nothing Superman could do to save the day. He just had to deal with this like so many victims before him.

"I know that baby but I won't let you throw away your whole life over that loser. I won't stand for it. Your mother wouldn't want that."

"Let me outta here." The drunk driver yelled from the backseat.

"Will somebody get him away from here. Lock him up or something but he needs to leave. NOW." Lois screamed to the police officers.

"I heard her. She called for my help but I was too far away. I was helping somebody. By the time I finished what I was doing I couldn't hear her anymore. I couldn't find her in time. What kind of person let's his own mother die like this Lois?" He asked his head slumping towards the ground once again. "I started doing this to help people but I didn't even save my own mother. What kind of person does that?"

Lois grabbed his face with her hands and forced his eyes onto hers. "Hey, this is not your fault. You hear that? This isn't your fault. We've talked about this a million times, you can't save everybody. You can't be everywhere at once. Your only one person."

He tried to pull away but she held his head tight in her hands. "Everybody who's ever gotten close to me has been hurt by this." He tugged on the blue material that made up his Superman suit. "Both my parents are gone because of this. Every relationship I've ever had has suffered because of it. It's brought nothing but pain and death to the people I love."

"Hey, hey, this isn't about Superman Clark and you know it. This is about a drunk driver. It could have happened to anybody. This didn't happen because of you, it happened to you. You're not a God, you're just a man Clark. No amount of super powers is going to protect you from having to deal with this stuff. Being Superman doesn't absolve you of the same pain and loss that the rest of us deal with, you know that."

He shook his head slowly finally looking Lois in the eyes. "I don't know if I can keep doing this. Am I even helping anyone? I'm not even sure I'm making a difference. I just pulled a semi off an overpass in California and the driver of the truck asked me what took me so long getting there. He asked why I wasn't out doing my job. That's who I saved instead of my own mother Lois. He didn't even say thank you."

Jesus Christ Lois thought to herself. What do you say to that? "Of course you're helping Clark. You do this because you're the only one who can. You don't do it for thank you's and applause, or magazine covers, or for reward money. You help because people need it. It's who you are. It's who your mother raised you to be. She wouldn't blame you for not making it here in time to save her and neither should you. Your mother understood what you go through as Superman Clark and she wouldn't blame you for this. She wouldn't want you to sacrifice anybodies life for hers. She knew the burden you had to bear and the responsibility you felt. She knew what it cost you and she was proud of you. She was the proudest parent on Earth, every time you saved someone it was a testament to how she and Mr. K raised you."

"Your all I have left Lois. I don't have anybody else." He told her his voice regaining some of it's strong confidence.

Lois leaned into him and gave him a long and passionate kiss on the mouth. "I'm in this until I'm old and grey Clark. I didn't just marry Clark Kent I married Superman and everything that goes along with that. What you do is important to me and I'll do whatever I have to for as long as I have to so you can be the greatest hero Earth has ever known. We're in this together. I know what I signed up for and if there's danger I want to face it with you. There is nobody in the galaxy I'd rather be with than Clark Kent."

He gave her a slight nod. "Thank you. I'm sorry. I needed to hear that."

Lois simply shook her head. "Don't apologize to me for being in pain. I'm your wife, you can share anything with me you know that."

He looked around the scene at the chaos and noticed that the police and detectives were still watching them. "They heard all of that. More people I'm putting in danger." He took a deep breath and surveyed the scene. The car carrying the drunk driver was slowly pulling away from the crash site.

Lois grabbed her husband's hand and gave it a quick kiss. "Don't worry about this Clark I'll take care of it. I need you to do me a favor though. I need you to go home and take the suit off for the night. The world will get by without Superman for a while. Clark Kent needs to grieve for his mother."

He shook his head. "Lois I can't just take a few days off. I have responsibilities. People depend on Superman."

Lois didn't back down. "I'm not asking baby. You can't be out there flying around with your head all messed up. I won't let you do that to yourself. Somebody could get hurt." She looked around at the police still watching them. "And I don't want them seeing you like this. People shouldn't see you this way, not in the cape. I don't want anybody to see Superman upset like this. They need to see you strong and proud. Now go home and change clothes for me and we'll deal with this together."

Superman nodded before giving Lois another kiss. He forced a tense smile to his face as he took a few steps backwards and shot into the sky and out of sight like a rocket. Lois watched him fly away and stared off into the early evening sky. She hadn't seen Clark doubt himself in years. When he'd become Superman all those self doubts seemed to melt away. Having to listen while he questioned his very worth made her sick. He carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and she hadn't realized until this very minute that despite all the changes she'd seen in him these past few years that he was still the same old Clark she'd fell in love with. Confused and worried about doing things the right way.

Lois wanted to curse to herself but had to settle for burying her face in her hands. She wanted to yell and scream and throw a fit but she knew better. No matter how far away Clark was he was always listening for her. She was all he had left and if she showed even the slightest bit of anger or frustration he'd hear. He'd hear and would turn around and fly right back here. No, she couldn't say anything. She had to hold it inside until she could get to her computer. Chloe would understand, she could email her cousin later and talk about it. She wiped away a few stray tears that ran down her cheek and took a series of deep calming breaths.

When she finally pulled herself together officer Tremble was staring at her. All the cops were staring. Of course they were they'd just gotten a front row seat to the story of the century. Everybody knew Superman and most people knew her too she supposed. There had been rumors that her and Superman were sweet on each other but nobody thought much of it. Lois Lane was a married woman after all and Superman would never come between a man and his wife. Of course now that these cops knew that Clark Kent and Superman were in fact the same person she wasn't sure how they would respond. She didn't have to wait long for the answer.

"Mrs. Kent. What we saw here will never leave this scene. We won't tell a soul. You have our promise." Tremble said. Her eyes looked a bit too glassy and Lois suspected the woman was near tears. "Give your husband a hug for me and let him know that he's in our prayers. Make sure he knows that the bastard who did this will serve as much jail time as the court will allow."

Good thing these cops had a heart Lois thought to herself. The last thing she needed to deal with was people asking her questions. Not having to worry about this story leaking was a load off her mind.


End file.
